I have been practicing yoga in some form for the last 14 years. My body is in excellent condition and health. Today, just two weeks before my 42nd birthday, I am far healthier and actually feel much younger in many ways than I did in my twenties.
My health first began spiraling downward when I was just 23. It is a long story and there are many factors involved, but it suffices to say that basically my body was exhausted and somewhat poisoned by 'modern living', even at such a young age. I hadn't done anything more extreme than your average college student. I studied well and had a steady boyfriend for years. But too many late nights, too much stress, antibiotics for this and that, pizza and chips and soda and such. I actually had quite a good diet most of the time from a healthy upbringing of salads and fruit and homecooked meals. Nevertheless, I was becoming very sick-- chronic, crushing fatigue, chronic bladder inflammation, adrenal insufficiency, thyroid dysfunction, food allergies. I was a wreck. I was in my early 20s and felt like an old, dying woman.
The situation did not improve for almost eight years. I would cycle up and down--a raw diet or juice fasting would give me a short-lived boost and then something would rock my tender balance. Anything could rock my tender balance--the wrong meal, inhaling a potent fume. It didn't take much. By the time I was 26-27 I was spending about 50-60% of my time just managing my health--soldiering on and pretending that I was normal
At 28 I finally hit a wall. Despite all my efforts and a long list of doctors visits of every kind-- urologosists, endocrinologists, immunologists, allergists...you name it, I saw them, some of them, the best in their field-- no one could tell me what was wrong. None could tell me that there wasn't something going on (because I was quite underweight and I looked pretty awful), but nobody could help me fix it. Some physicians wanted to put me on hardcore drugs ...all different kinds of drugs were offered. If you heard the variety of diagnoses given, the variety of drugs offered, it is just... you can't imagine they would all be given to the same person. Luckily I never went that route. Had I done that, for sure I would have been finished off.
So, at 28 I became pretty much housebound overnight. All of the sudden I couldn't stand up without fainting--I was crawling through the apartment. I couldn't eat anything without shaking and throwing-up. I would try to go out to take a short walk on a 'good day', walk a few blocks, and then take an hour to walk 100 yards home--my legs would just become lead. I just wouldn't be able to walk more than a few feet at a stretch. It was really something.
Finally, I was do or die. 8 years of my young life gone with this nonsense and I still hadn't gotten any closer to an answer. In fact, I was much worse. I gave up on allopathic medicine and made a last-ditch effort at a wellness center. I will never forget that appointment because it was a turning-point in my body awareness.
I had always been someone who pushed myself. Even as an ill person, prior to the worst of it, I had always made an effort to jog when I felt okay, thinking it was strengthening my body. Here, at this wellness center, I met a very gentle woman who was trained in Feldenkrais--a very soft form of therapeutic body movement. She would gently rock different parts of my body and then tell me, 'You feel how this is, see if you can let go of that, etc.' all over my body. This was probably the most subtle and refined thing my body had experienced--ever. I left that session feeling better than I had felt in years. Her recommendation? "When you get a little stronger, start doing some yoga on your own," she said. "Yoga?!" I thought. "Oh, god, I used to be a runner. Now I've got to sit and stretch and breathe?"
So I did. I got my first yoga video from the White Lotus Foundation. I still remember Pamela's pink leotard. I can't tell you how far away I am from pink leotards. I love Pamela to this day--I would bow down to her if she showed her face in front of me anywhere. Because she became my lifeline. If I did this one yoga video for 70 minutes, I would have about 3 hours where everything in my system calmed down. Chronic pain and spasm around my spine would go away. I could sit and eat and not throw-up. I felt pretty good after my sessions with her, and I started doing that video 2x a day. This began my slow journey back to health.
Jump forward 4 years and I was still in a tender balance, but feeling pretty good. I had a completely different philosophy and approach to my life by 32. I practiced hatha yoga at least 1 hour every day. I had my own sauna--I sat relaxed and detoxed about 3 times a week. I ate organic. I saw an acupuncturist once a week for allergies. Massage therapy regularly. I had quit my job at the peak of my illness and I began working again for myself as a consultant part-time. Many changes happened that eased my life and lifestyle. This was my new life, and it was quite ok--much better, actually. Now, ready to fully reclaim a life I felt I'd lost ten years before, I was looking for some stability in my health condition. Hatha yoga had done so much for me I began to seek deeper aspects of yoga--I began to look into meditation.
Like so many other westerners, that translates into Buddhist books. I read quite a few and started experimenting with different forms of mind work, both Eastern and Western. I tried everything from Buddhist 'tonglen' practice to neurolingistic programming. It was very intriguing because some of my experiences were very powerful. Then, in 2003, I met master yogi, Sadhguru from south India. I didn't give him my long story. I just asked how I could become more stable. He told me that the kriya he offers would give me the stability I longed for. And, incredibly, it did--not in 6 years, or 3 years or some such. Within 3 months of doing the first program my whole system felt much, much stronger.
6 months later, I longed to go to India and attend his silent meditation program, Samyama. I was afraid. Would my body hold up on such a long trip? Would I be able to digest the food and not get sick? What happens if my body crashes--would I be able to get home and get the care I need? But, I took a leap. Even, in India, as long as I kept the kriya and meditation on, my body was rebounding from any little cold or stomach thing. I returned to the US and kept practicing regularly and by the same time the next year I had to remind myself I had ever been sick.
10 years, TEN years of illness. The mind is a funny thing. I just dropped the whole thing and went on with my life. So healthy and stout now. I can do anything any healthy person can do--in fact, I am a healthy person. I can do MORE than most healthy people can do. I have the energy to travel all over and not get sick--not more than a cold or such. 5 months ago I hiked at some 16-17,000 feet to Kailash in Tibet. Cold Tibet, no toilets Tibet--freezing rain and high altitude took a normal toll on me. In fact, at the top, I was normal exhausted from exertion and altitude. Amazingly, I was actually able to help other people who were more altitude sick than me.
So, yoga saved my body and it gave me my life back. And, I would say, if you find the right master of the discipline, as I have in Sadhguru, it can do even more than that. But, that's another whole story--which is quite juicy if I say so myself =). To read more about that, visit my other blog: www.alivingmystic.com
